Last week, Disco Stu received 51 hits on his online dating profile, but received no messages. Stu last went on a date in 1999, with a pretty Canadian girl named Frances. They went to dinner, where Stu explained the history behind his marijuana addiction and the subsequent spells of severe paranoia he has to endure. Stu didn’t see Frances again, but they are friends on Facebook. Stu knows that she has a Yorkshire Terrier, named Philip. Philip looks nice, thinks Stu.